Bloody hell I just set fire to my bloody flat!
The hob here is fooking stupid in that the knobs are in the wrong place and defy any human logic.
I regularly turn on the wrong ring, but usually the only problem is waiting longer for my food and a bit of wasted power.
Not this time though.
I’ve taken to using an old fashioned expresso machine again, pretty little thing from IKEA actually, and it has the advantage of making loads of noise when it’s ready. So I put it on, go into the study type room next door, and do a bit of work with an ear out for the coffee.
This I did today but had my usual issue with the ring and turned the front left on instead of the front right. Little did I know the danger I’d caused until something fell onto the floor in the kitchen, I wasn’t even going to bother looking, but something made me want to see what had happened.
And then it hit me as I walked into the main room.
Thick acrid smoke, and through it, bloody great flames!
There was a carton of butter on the other ring which had melted and caught fire, with flames licking around the extractor hood.
I was paralysed for a moment, but then grabbed a tea towel and threw it on the flames beating them out, but then didn’t removed it, so a few seconds later that flared up too. Whoa! Next on goes the oven glove and I throw the fire into the sink and turn on the pathetic pressured tap.
Calm restored. Just couldn’t breath in the kitchen for a while and the hob’ll need some serious elbow grease.