‘My thoughts’ Category

  1. Paypal after my arse!

    February 20, 2012 by admin

    Bloody hell.

    I have a Paypal account set up. I like it because I can buy stuff with the click of a button and a password that even I can remember, and then it takes the money from my bank account.

    There is an obvious flaw there – why not pay straight from the bank account in the first place? But that aside it seems to work well.

    Or at least it did.

    At the weekend I got a scary letter from bailiffs threatening to take my house away (well, slight exaggeration) if I don’t pay them £28 quid that they claim I owe Paypal. But the irony is that not only do I owe them nothing, they have direct access to my bank account to take any money that I may at any time owe.

    They don’t answer the phone number they give.

    They haven’t answered any emails.

    And I’m seriously pissed off, and more than a little worried.

    Arse.

    Of course the simple thing to do would be to just pay the amount. But if everyone did that then extortion would become the most viable business in the land.

    Nervous and angry. Better not try to call them again in this state.

    Perhaps another email?

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  2. Drones and mind drones…

    February 7, 2012 by admin

    Wowzers!

    The whole subject of drones excites me and scares me in equal measure. It seems that the Marvel comics I read as a kid not so long ago are rapidly becoming real.

    There have been a couple of things recently that have bowled me over.

    One is pure comedy. The Iranians captured an American drone plane some months back. There were all sorts of recriminations. The Americans wanted it back – yeah! right. And the Iranians took extreme umbrage at the thing flying in their airspace. But here’s the comedy. They made little pink models of it and sent them to Mr Obama. Sweet.

    Recently there was a programme on the radio talking about how drones were being made that were no bigger than bees – now we’re getting really scary.

    And this morning there was a feature on about drones that could be controlled by mental impulse – so like it’s an extension of the soldier, but maybe miles away. How do you fight that with pitch forks?

    It went on to describe a children’s game that is controlled through a helmet via electrical impulses. Blinking binking, this is getting silly now. Sudden;y I’m beginning to wish I was dad’s age and safe in the knowledge that I’d be long dead before all this goes horribly sci-fi come to life. I’m not sure this is a reality that I like the thought of.

    Flee to a Scottish island anyone?

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  3. Blogging

    January 19, 2012 by admin

    Hey. I’ve been at this blogging business for a few weeks now and I thought I’d explore some of my own thoughts on the subject.

    One of the main things is that I’ve realised that I can’t type the word “THE”. I hadn’t realised that every time I type it in word it corrects my spelling from teh to the automatically. That’s all very well and dandy, but because I was only vaguely aware of it the mistake has become so ingrained that I’m finding it really hard to break out of.

    OK, that’s one thing. the other is that getting sat down and writing pretty much every day is a whole lot easier than just doing it when you think you have something to say – hence the rather random nature of some of my posts!

    Getting set up was easy. I was told to use WordPress and so I did. I needed a WordPress hosting company and was told to use 34sp because they are good, easy to deal with, and sensibly priced. So I did that too. Most unlike me to do what I was told twice in a row. And I’m reaping the benefits as it’s easier than an easy thing.

    What’s difficult is remembering to only speak my mind to a certain degree as the moment you start telling people you write a blog, the silly beggars go looking for it and then reading it and then. Then they get a little uppetty if you’ve been a tad too open in describing their antics. Or worse than that your mother (Hi Mum) reads it because your annoying if lovely sister showed her how. And then even your dad isn’t safe.

    So I try to make a rule of all clean fun. Well. Sort of.

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  4. Wot? No Wikipedia?

    January 18, 2012 by admin

    I love the fact that Wikipedia has taken itself down for the day in protest against the anti piracy lays proposed in the states.

    In a way I hate it as it makes me realise just how much I use it, but it shows the power of the tool doesn’t it? Just think what would happen if Google did the same thing? I guess it can’t on the basis that people pay to use its services, even if only through advertising.

    How will journos check their supposed ‘facts’ without their favourite tool? They’ll have forgotten how to do any real research, and probably sacked all their researchers.

    Shame I don’t know enough about these anti-piracy proposals to make any comments. Whatever is put in place I’m sure folk will find a way of getting their tunes for free somehow or other.

    I heard this morning that ailing Yahoo were offered $40bn by Microsoft a couple of years ago – and turned it down!! That’s confidence for you. Blind and stupid maybe, arrogant probably, but what a hoot. Now the fella who made the decision is out on his ear, but I can’t imagine he’s too bothered can you?

    I can’t actually even contemplate a million let alone a billion. But I bet I could spend a million, and quite sensibly too – maybe £100k to waste, and a cool car and property with a few hundred thou, then stash a couple of hundred for up keep. Bugger. Maybe a million isn’t enough!

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  5. Stuart Hall honoured

    December 31, 2011 by admin

    I listened to the Today programme this morning because comic genius Stuart Lee was guest editor.

    He brought several cool surprises to what I usually consider to be a pretty dull programme. Best was an interview with Mark E Smith of The Fall. Well they called it an interview, but it was basically just a lot of chat from Stuart Lee and a ramble from The Fall’s iconic rambling Manc front man, made all the better by the well edited Fall tracks in the background. Most R4 listeners must have wondered what the hell was going on.

    The other bit I loved was an interview with veteran sports commentator Stuart Hall who was just genius, somehow combining his eloquence with a rambling style that made you listen and it was just poetry, wonderful. He read his first ever report which he claims was utterly fabricated.

    Set my Saturday up nicely.

    Need to rest up a bit now to be on top form for a new year’s meal at a mate’s. There’ll be a few of us trying to be all grown up and sophisticated, and then we’ll probably just get hammered and fall out before 12.00 o’clock.

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  6. Birds on birds, it ain’t like the movies

    December 7, 2011 by admin

    Right then, I’m on day three of the new Evans diary machine, and I thought I’d get another of my little prejudices off my chest.

    Girls on girls. You know. Lesers. Or any of the less pleasant names that even I’d not type out for fear of reprisals.

    Sounds great.

    Every man’s fantasy.

    Though of course in that fantasy you secretly know that you can cure then and all they really want in life is a good hard rodgering.

    Ah! Reminds me. There’s a new Vaigra called 007. It makes you Roger Moore!

    What do you mean you didn’t laugh? I loved that.

    But anyway, back to my lovely luscious long licking lesers.

    Have you ever seen a pretty one? No really? You know, out in the street?

    I don’t care about the short hair. In fact a lovely nape gets me big.

    But why oh why do they have to try to look like men?

    And why are they so angry?

    Or at least angry with men?

    There must be something great about being lesbian, but Mr Christopher can’t begin to work it out. I’ve even had this conversation with a school friend who ‘came out’. We always ragged each other about everything and I was far more brutal with her than I have been here, yet all she could say was “you either are, or you’re not, like it isn’t a conscious decision”.

    I’m not convinced. But then I am a self confirmed male chauvinist pig, and kind of like that role.

    But what I’m most concerned about is why I can’t find a hint of the babes in the lesbian films out there on the street.

    But then, I don’t really care. It’s just a rant. It’s just me being the arsehole that is me.

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  7. Like quitting fags…

    December 5, 2011 by admin

    Balls.

    I was so up for the idea of getting into a bit of diary writing, recording a few thoughts, working through a few ideas on (cyber) paper.

    And then weeks go by and I don’t write a jot.

    Bit like quitting fags. Full of good intention, pull through those bloody awful first few days when you bite every fookers’ head off just because they’re breathing but seemingly not suffering like me, and then just as it’s getting easier you find yourself in the paper shop and asking for a pack of Marly Reds, as if it was cool or something. And so just like quitting fags I’m going to try again.

    Mr Christopher Evans will be back to his key board – I actually reckon that i have the best chance if I try to write at least a bit every day. That may be just saying “Hi folks, it’s raining out there”, or it might end up being an essay of genius that’s then discovered after my early death, made into a posthumous hit film, girls throwing themselves on my unmarked grave – and then they finally find my will and discover that all the millions my disowned family have been fighting over have actually been left to the Russian Hamster Society – or something similarly random.

    No point in wasting all my creative energy on my come back note. After all I expect there will be plenty of them.

    Be sure to look out for tomorrow’s ramble.

    Christopher E. Over and out.

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  8. Will the real Chris Evans please stand up?

    September 20, 2011 by admin


    Isn’t it a pain in the arse? I can hear people thinking it even if they don’t have the balls to say. And it’s a fair point, but it’s wrong.

    Being called Chris Evans has so many advantages.

    I like to think I have plenty of topics of conversation anyway – but being the Chris Evans rather than THE Chris Evans means that even the shyest person automatically has something to talk about, or at least ask about.

    Does that mean that having a name that some other guy is lucky enough to share with me has brought me advantages? Oh hell yes!

    Is it the greatest gift my parents have me, albeit by accident?

    Well, I guess I ought to say some bollx like “they gave me the gift of life”, but screw that! If they didn’t have me in the first place there’d be no basis for conversation anyway. So, yes, my name and my rather fine member are their greatest gifts to me, and maybe the Mark I Golf GTi when I had just passed my driving test.

    Hey for fooks sake, I’ve even said thank you. Though admittedly I was drunk and I had thrown up on the way home from a party in dad’s car just before I offered up my humble thanks for the gifts they’d bestowed upon me. I’m sure they know I’m grateful anyway, but maybe one day I should contemplate this idea and perhaps test the water with them before they pop off, you know, a little – “Hey mum, you do know that I think you did me well don’t you?”

    All these little things add up to make me the shag monster I am (or like to think that I am). And, like a Big Mac, with hot, crispy fries fresh from the sizzling oil, “I’m lovin’ it! Baby!”

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